Preamble: Todd's decision to purchase a tiny flask of whiskey to be consumed prior to the Cubs game was seemingly intelligent in its thrift and noble in its pursuit of enjoyment. Unfortunately, it was the impetus for the most epic fail Will has produced thus far with the exception of wallet-loss. Despite mentioning "stomach problems,"
Will deemed it his duty to at least have a little taste. The first sip? Uneventful. The second? Suffice it to say that it and a large amount of other previously ingested items found their way back into said whiskey bottle. It was a failure of epic proportions. Ultimately, this may have been for the better, as we were able to enter and appreciate Wrigley Field in a completely sober state.
Be assured that the streak of $0.00 for tickets remains intact thanks to the generosity of a former colleague of Will's, who kindly provided us with a pair of excellent tickets. Though the procurement of tickets on-site is one of the few opportunities for Will to show his worth, knowing we could focus on the things that matter in Wrigleyville (mainly drinking, and looking at quasi-racist shirts of
Ozzie Guillen mowing Wrigley field) was a welcome respite from Will's shameless, but invaluable activities.
The game was over quicker than the time it took us to find our seats as the Cubs' Alfonso Soriano hit a laser to left field for a 3-run lap around the bases in 1st inning. The North Siders ended up scoring 6 in the frame, en route to a 12-0 beatdown of the Astros. (Insert the cliche line from Apollo 13 here.)
With the suspense on the field non-existent, Will's efforts turned to
teaching the 8-year old sitting next to us how to keep score in her program. Todd spent the bulk of his time trying not to listen to Will tell the same story about our trip thus far to roughly 76 different people sitting next to us. However, Will's "outside voice" was too much to be ignored. Ultimately, this was a small sacrifice for free tickets on the
1st base line.
After the game, Todd headed to the southside where the generosity of his cousin, Billy, was in full effect. Will, who joined him later along with our friend, Max, who lives in Chicago, met up with a friend in Wrigleyville for a few drinks. Pizza, beer and some conversation on the deck filled our evening; nothing could have been better.
Today:off to The Cell with Billy and his two boys where the Damn Yankee's take on the South Siders. With a bit of luck, we might even be treated to some Spanish obscenities being hurled from Ozzie's mouth.
Todd & Will
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Miracle with the 'sconies
Last time we went through an Illinois' toll-booth, during a road trip last December to watch the Montana Grizzlies collapse in a football national championship game, Will inquired about the cost of the U.S. Senate. This experience was tremendously tenser as a U-turn back to Miller Park was calling our name. Business Will brought a healthy dose of depressionville inside the prizm.
Two hours after leaving we were back exactly where we began: the parking spot. After scouring the area to no avail, Will and his slumped shoulders walked into stadium control and inquired about his lost lifeline. More often than not, this would be greeted with a laugh and a quip about ones mental health, instead in the land where the positive disposition flows like the suds, you get a behind scenes tour of the joint. While Will fretted aboard the golf cart, Ed Doron, a 60-something who had worked for the Brewers for over two decades, reminisced about how the fan experience was much better across the street at County Stadium. "The people were closer, the players were approachable and the real fans showed up," said Doran. Weaving and dodging throughout the hallways, they arrived at the seats. Realizing that the majority of the hurricane-like debris of a professional game was collected, Will put in a last ditch walk of shame. Not going to happen, right? Well it did and Will did his best impression of Brandi Chastain scoring the winning goal in the World Cup. Not a dollar or card was missing!
The ride back to Chicago, which resulted with us in bed around 3am, was understandably quiet. Of course, Todd drove and Will slept. After all, it is Will, the guy who will buy tanks of gas for the foreseeable future.
Todd & Will
Two hours after leaving we were back exactly where we began: the parking spot. After scouring the area to no avail, Will and his slumped shoulders walked into stadium control and inquired about his lost lifeline. More often than not, this would be greeted with a laugh and a quip about ones mental health, instead in the land where the positive disposition flows like the suds, you get a behind scenes tour of the joint. While Will fretted aboard the golf cart, Ed Doron, a 60-something who had worked for the Brewers for over two decades, reminisced about how the fan experience was much better across the street at County Stadium. "The people were closer, the players were approachable and the real fans showed up," said Doran. Weaving and dodging throughout the hallways, they arrived at the seats. Realizing that the majority of the hurricane-like debris of a professional game was collected, Will put in a last ditch walk of shame. Not going to happen, right? Well it did and Will did his best impression of Brandi Chastain scoring the winning goal in the World Cup. Not a dollar or card was missing!
The ride back to Chicago, which resulted with us in bed around 3am, was understandably quiet. Of course, Todd drove and Will slept. After all, it is Will, the guy who will buy tanks of gas for the foreseeable future.
Todd & Will
Wisconsin dontcha know
-Parking: $8
-Ticktets: $0
-Selling the extra tickets Will acquired: +$20
-Peanuts, Beer, Sandwich & Desert: $0
-Leaving Miller Park with more money than you entered it with?... Priceless.
The legend of "Business Will" continues to grow as the trip progresses (this prefix has been aptly given to Will as it seems that we might very well end up finishing this trip in the black). After paying $8 for parking at Miller, worries arose that our streak of deliberate and extreme thrift might be in jeopardy. However, to the great relief of both parties, it was anything but. Did Will get us tickets? Yes. Did Will get two more tickets and promptly turn his $0 investment into $20? Yes. Did we weasel our way down three levels at the ballpark? Yes. Oh yes dear friends; such is the life when traveling with “Business Will.”
We took our seats and soon realized we were among some of the nicest people in the great state of Wisconsin. To our left was a party whose seats we were technically in. They not only didn’t mind us sitting there, but also provided us with a contact in D.C. who would gladly take us to a game. Additionally, a bet was made between Will and a young lady among their party on what the outcome of the Sausage Race would be (Will backing the hotdog and she putting her faith in the bratwurst). When the family decided to leave before the race began she simply apologized and paid up, resulting in a free beer for us (note: technically the beer was Will’s, but be assured Todd’s inner socialist emerged when there emerged one beer between two people).
To our right sat a retired couple from a small town near Madison. As the game progressed they generously provided us with a five-course meal consisting of peanuts, broccoli, sandwiches, twizzlers and watermelon and also shared interesting insight into the Wisconsin dairy industry, which has been heavily hurt by plummeting milk prices. The husband, whose name was Tom Vinz, went on to indulged us with a story about a dairy in his area that converted its cows' manure into energy (enough to be self-sufficient and power over 500 homes). Local flavor (no pun intended) was not in short supply.
Pause for epic Will Fail... Dear God, we're half way to Chicago and he's realized he's lost his wallet. We're driving back to Milwaukee. I'm in no condition to continue writing. More to come.
Todd & Will
-Ticktets: $0
-Selling the extra tickets Will acquired: +$20
-Peanuts, Beer, Sandwich & Desert: $0
-Leaving Miller Park with more money than you entered it with?... Priceless.
The legend of "Business Will" continues to grow as the trip progresses (this prefix has been aptly given to Will as it seems that we might very well end up finishing this trip in the black). After paying $8 for parking at Miller, worries arose that our streak of deliberate and extreme thrift might be in jeopardy. However, to the great relief of both parties, it was anything but. Did Will get us tickets? Yes. Did Will get two more tickets and promptly turn his $0 investment into $20? Yes. Did we weasel our way down three levels at the ballpark? Yes. Oh yes dear friends; such is the life when traveling with “Business Will.”
We took our seats and soon realized we were among some of the nicest people in the great state of Wisconsin. To our left was a party whose seats we were technically in. They not only didn’t mind us sitting there, but also provided us with a contact in D.C. who would gladly take us to a game. Additionally, a bet was made between Will and a young lady among their party on what the outcome of the Sausage Race would be (Will backing the hotdog and she putting her faith in the bratwurst). When the family decided to leave before the race began she simply apologized and paid up, resulting in a free beer for us (note: technically the beer was Will’s, but be assured Todd’s inner socialist emerged when there emerged one beer between two people).
To our right sat a retired couple from a small town near Madison. As the game progressed they generously provided us with a five-course meal consisting of peanuts, broccoli, sandwiches, twizzlers and watermelon and also shared interesting insight into the Wisconsin dairy industry, which has been heavily hurt by plummeting milk prices. The husband, whose name was Tom Vinz, went on to indulged us with a story about a dairy in his area that converted its cows' manure into energy (enough to be self-sufficient and power over 500 homes). Local flavor (no pun intended) was not in short supply.
Pause for epic Will Fail... Dear God, we're half way to Chicago and he's realized he's lost his wallet. We're driving back to Milwaukee. I'm in no condition to continue writing. More to come.
Todd & Will
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Metrodome: Section 134, Seats 19 & 20.
One down, Twenty-nine more staring us in the face. The Twins capitalized on the White Sox’s fielding hiccups in the 2nd inning en route to a 4-3 victory last night. Yet, it was the environment inside the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome that has us heading to Milwaukee thinking, “If this is supposedly the most depressing place we are intending to see, then we certainly aren’t going to need a Prozac prescription.” Granted, it is a tad bizarre to watch a game indoors, where the roof is the same color as the ball. Still, after baking in the car for the previous two days, it was a relief to hear the temperature was 18 degrees cooler inside at the start of the game.
Todd’s brother, Kyle, ditched his corporate locker to attend the game too. As he has a job, we were certainly glad to have him pay the $6.75 a beer. All jokes aside, and when the Wojtanowicz brothers get together you are sure to hear many, we really do appreciate Kyle pointing out the socially awkward in the stands. Our camera is going to be the impetus for a pretty serious confrontation down the road (pun intended), although that is a conversation for another day. Right now, we care more about digitally memorializing a few yahoos.
(Side note: Brett “God” Favre is still down in Hattiesburg, MS, according to ESPN’s Rachel Nichols. That said, judging from the vibe in these parts, the masses are preparing for the “resurrection” that is near. This is supported by the #4 Vikings jersey that was being sported by a misguided youth.)
By choosing to soak in a few more minutes of television, neither of us is willing to check the mileage on the car thus far. We promise to update you in our next correspondence.
In meantime, rest assured that we went to the game for free last night courtesy of Will’s willingness to stand outside and repeatedly utter, “By any chance, does anyone have any extras?” Todd's new name for him is "Sedgwick," as he is, in fact, the Mooch Closer. Sure enough, about 30 minutes after beginning, he texted Todd and Kyle with the good news that they were officially a charity case. Like our relationship with the Soviets during WWII, sometimes the ends justify the means. Our consensus is that $0.00 is the best price for anything these days.
Todd & Will
Monday, July 27, 2009
Day Two: King Corn
Firstly, allow me to explain the title of this post. We have literally seen about 7,000 cornfields today. Western ND and Minnesota seemingly have crammed every free inch of undeveloped land with corn. The smell of subsidized money was our constant companion.
Secondly, only one day into our trip we already need to correct ourselves. North Dakota has completely redeemed itself. The drive through the western portion of the state had nearly jaded us altogether, but once we reached our couchsurfing hosts in Jamestown our spirits were lifted. Firstly, to the Klett family (Katie, Bill and Wendy), we are so very grateful for your generosity and for how welcome you made us feel in your home. We look forward to an opportunity to return the favor! Our hosts invited us in for a delicious dinner, drinks and hearty conversation about baseball, traveling and perhaps most interesting of all: beekeeping (the family’s business). After enjoying ourselves on their porch for dinner, Katie took us out to the sole bar in town that remained open on the Lord’s Day. We soaked up some local flavor from various drunks, palm-readers and friends of Katie’s as well as enjoying a few beers. The family put us up in a separate house where we had beds and a shower. It was a fantastic start to our trip and also to our experience with coachsurfing. We are now approaching Plymouth, MN just outside of Minneapolis. We’re mooching a hunk a floor off Todd's brother who is staying in a hotel here on business. He’s gonna join us for a game and by the end of the night we will have effectively completed 1/30th of our misguided adventure. More to come, as now my attention must be directed towards reigning in Will’s propensity to thinking country music is allowed in this car.
Todd & Will
p.s at time of posting the finale of VH1’s “Daisy of Love” was on in our room... tears were shed, no one is proud of it.
Secondly, only one day into our trip we already need to correct ourselves. North Dakota has completely redeemed itself. The drive through the western portion of the state had nearly jaded us altogether, but once we reached our couchsurfing hosts in Jamestown our spirits were lifted. Firstly, to the Klett family (Katie, Bill and Wendy), we are so very grateful for your generosity and for how welcome you made us feel in your home. We look forward to an opportunity to return the favor! Our hosts invited us in for a delicious dinner, drinks and hearty conversation about baseball, traveling and perhaps most interesting of all: beekeeping (the family’s business). After enjoying ourselves on their porch for dinner, Katie took us out to the sole bar in town that remained open on the Lord’s Day. We soaked up some local flavor from various drunks, palm-readers and friends of Katie’s as well as enjoying a few beers. The family put us up in a separate house where we had beds and a shower. It was a fantastic start to our trip and also to our experience with coachsurfing. We are now approaching Plymouth, MN just outside of Minneapolis. We’re mooching a hunk a floor off Todd's brother who is staying in a hotel here on business. He’s gonna join us for a game and by the end of the night we will have effectively completed 1/30th of our misguided adventure. More to come, as now my attention must be directed towards reigning in Will’s propensity to thinking country music is allowed in this car.
Todd & Will
p.s at time of posting the finale of VH1’s “Daisy of Love” was on in our room... tears were shed, no one is proud of it.
Day One: The Dakots
THE DAKOTS!!!! In the heart of the state that God forgot, we're writing this noble blog’s opening post. With the sweet serenade of Cat “Yusif” Stevens in the background and burning 90+ degree weather, nothing could be better. Perhaps North Dakota’s famous “enchanted highway” has inspired us to put pen to pad, after all we're pretty sure its received numerous votes for being one of the modern 7 wonders. Or maybe it’s simply the byproduct of Todd's need to distract himself from Will’s perpetual use of the cell phone. Regardless, the first post is here and that’s what counts.
Tonight we stay in Jamestown, ND with a girl we met on couchsurfing.org (a fabulous site for moochers), and she’s suggested that camping could be in the cards. Either way, the price will be right and we're sure we’ll enjoy ourselves. We’ve got a little baseball inspiration already as our friends Nate, Chris and Josh are in Cooperstown attending Ricky “Slick Rick” Henderson’s Hall of Fame induction. We’re sure humility will not be the name of the game, and it will certainly not involve as many tears as Michael Irvin’s “I’m the Jesus of football” speech.
For our fellow Montana natives, you’re likely already privy to the misery that is I-94. We're sure North Dakota is filled with wonderful people (unlike South Dakota which is filled entirely with murderers and witches), but this drive is horrible. It feels like a 10,000 mile drive on a completely straight road surrounded by a flat abyss. If you like farms, dirt, power lines and the occasional oil derrick however, then this is the land of milk and honey. (Side note, the scenic highlight thus far has been Will keenly observing a cloud that “looks like a bird.”)
However, spirits are high. Our 1999 Chevy Prizm has yet to break down, despite the constant presence of our friend the “check engine” light. We’ve planned our trip out very precisely and look forward to two months of hectic relaxation. (Second side note, anyone we haven’t contacted already that has a line on tickets, or a hunk of floor we might be allowed to pull up, don’t hesitate to let us know! We’ll do our best to grace you with our presence!) In short, this is the magical part of any road trip where things have yet to be said that can’t be unsaid, and eyes have not been blackened.
So, pray for our car, our morale and us. We hope to see all of you at soon and keep tuning in!
-Todd & Will
Tonight we stay in Jamestown, ND with a girl we met on couchsurfing.org (a fabulous site for moochers), and she’s suggested that camping could be in the cards. Either way, the price will be right and we're sure we’ll enjoy ourselves. We’ve got a little baseball inspiration already as our friends Nate, Chris and Josh are in Cooperstown attending Ricky “Slick Rick” Henderson’s Hall of Fame induction. We’re sure humility will not be the name of the game, and it will certainly not involve as many tears as Michael Irvin’s “I’m the Jesus of football” speech.
For our fellow Montana natives, you’re likely already privy to the misery that is I-94. We're sure North Dakota is filled with wonderful people (unlike South Dakota which is filled entirely with murderers and witches), but this drive is horrible. It feels like a 10,000 mile drive on a completely straight road surrounded by a flat abyss. If you like farms, dirt, power lines and the occasional oil derrick however, then this is the land of milk and honey. (Side note, the scenic highlight thus far has been Will keenly observing a cloud that “looks like a bird.”)
However, spirits are high. Our 1999 Chevy Prizm has yet to break down, despite the constant presence of our friend the “check engine” light. We’ve planned our trip out very precisely and look forward to two months of hectic relaxation. (Second side note, anyone we haven’t contacted already that has a line on tickets, or a hunk of floor we might be allowed to pull up, don’t hesitate to let us know! We’ll do our best to grace you with our presence!) In short, this is the magical part of any road trip where things have yet to be said that can’t be unsaid, and eyes have not been blackened.
So, pray for our car, our morale and us. We hope to see all of you at soon and keep tuning in!
-Todd & Will
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