It has been awhile since our last post as we've been busy soaking in the cultural flavor of Northern Kentucky and Southern Illinois (this includes spying giant white crosses on the side of the road and a female mullet or two). Additionally, the Internet is foreign in these parts, as there is no mention made of it in the Good Book. But now, as our Chevy Prizm approaches St. Louis, we're making time to chronicle our adventures.
Our second day in Chicago was as enjoyable as the first. We had a lazy start to the day and enthusiastically took advantage of what has remained our only decent night of sleep. We finally got around to meeting up with our friend Max Brodin (who attended high school with us) and his girlfriend downtown after he got off of work (an idea foreign to us). We had a few pregame cocktails and took full advantage of some free mozzarella sticks while there. We hopped on the L with 40's in hand and headed down to the Southside for the Sox-Yankees game at U.S. Cellular Field. Billy, Todd's cousin, met us at the park and generously treated us to the game. This was particularly kind of him, being that his sorrows are spent following the Cubs and one of his kids was very vocal in his allegiances to the enemy. Now, that is what we call quality parenting.
(Note: Concentrating right now is becoming very difficult due to Will's constant explanations of the meanings of country songs... "you see, right now is when our two young lovers are falling for each other. Let's listen in to see what the future holds, shall we?").
As we are on a very tight timeline, our trip is literally in the hands of the man upstairs when it comes to weather. Rain drizzled just before the first pitch and it seemed that our trip could be in jeopardy. Thankfully the weather passed and the delay was only a half hour. The game was great, ending in a walk-off RBI by the White Sox utility outfielder, DeWayne Wise. Will and Max even ended up sitting directly behind Derek Jeter's parents along the 3rd baseline during the late innings. As Will talks to everyone and anyone, they shared common ground on criticizing a female who stole a game ball that was meant for a child.
After parting with Billy and the boys (Quinn and Burke) the three of us spent several unsuccessful minutes trying to hitch back uptown. Our efforts went as extreme as offering twenty dollars but, then again, showers are not our priority these days so we didn't blame people for giving us the finger. We cut our losses, hopped on the L and headed downtown. We barhopped until finally meeting up with a group of ladies from South Bend celebrating a birthday. Our tactful approach towards thrift worked wonderfully, yielding us mooched drinks from the girls throughout the night. The highlight was Max giving them all degrading nicknames like “BamBam” and “Hogan Knows Best.” After the birthday girl ate cement on the walk out of the bar and promptly headed to the bathroom to repent for her sins, we decided it was are cue to leave. With the sun beginning to rise, bed was calling our names.
The next morning Max joined us and we headed out to the majestic city of Cleveland. Our friend Adam Lottino (who we also know from Bozeman High) was our host and didn't disappoint by showing us a fantastic time filled with sidesplitting laughs. To get things started properly, he greeted us with a party platter from the finest restaurant in the city: Subway. We spent the bulk of our drive recollecting the many legendary stories of Adam, ultimately deciding to nickname him Governor Lottino. We felt this name aptly suited the man who prides himself on greeting each city he moves to by “taking it by storm”. (Note: a local was queried as to Adam's “city taking,” but provided a somewhat different view). We ate, changed, had some laughs and headed down to the game. Will kept his legend alive by scoring two great tickets, turning them over for $70, and then buying 7 $10 tickets for us, Adam and some of his friends. Our seats were fantastic. After the sixth inning, Max, Adam and the others left the game. As Adam laid passed out in his apartment, with Max inquiring constantly for text message updates, our decision to stay paid off and we were treated to a 13-inning epic of a game which ended in a Cleveland victory.
We met up with Max and the Gov after the game and headed downtown. We took in some Ukrainian dance moves at one bar and Will got some priceless pictures of a guy who had decided to rock white shoes and white jeans. We headed back to Lottino's, disappointed that we were not treated to his standard tank top removal, or a bellow of: “I make more money than all of you,” to a large crowd. After meeting his surgically altered neighbor (who ultimately was the impetus for a Lottino shirt-removal), we got some much-needed rest. The next morning Adam gave us a quick tour of the city, which despite its somewhat negative reputation, seemed to be very nice. We got some food at a chic market, said our goodbyes and hit the road. Little did we know that Max's flatulence would be the 4th passenger on this leg of the trip to Cincinatti.
We arrived in “The 'Natti” with a little time to spare, found some cheap parking and had a few brews to pass the time (two in a bar, two in an alley). Will went to work after we arrived at the stadium and Max and I took in a little people watching out front. What we observed is difficult describe. It was one part prom, as apparently the ballgame is the only thing to do on a Cincinnati evening. Half the women we saw were wearing evening gowns. The other half was comprised of what Max named to be inhabitants of “Northern K,” the K being for Kentucky. Said people were rocking Mullets, chin straps, jean shorts (aka “jorts”) and Big Dogs t-shirts. Needless to say, we had a comment or two about the situation. From this moment on, Todd rebranded the home of the Reds, “Wendy's Steakhouse Memorial Field,” the said restaurant being the site of pre-prom dinners.
Additionally, in large part due to the economy and the need for people squeeze every dollar out of their tickets, this place has been the least generous town yet. Will had difficulty acquiring tickets and had to struggle through the sea of homeless people that clog the streets of the 'Natti. Ultimately, after declining to buy tickets for $2, he was successful and our epic journey of free games continues. The game was nothing too exciting, as the Reds are a particularly bad ball club. Most of our time was spent pointing out Northern K sightings. We hit the road after the game and briefly dipped down into Northern K, which Max was insistent about. We drove until about 3 am until Max and Todd decided to get a hotel. Will, whose cheapness is at times beyond description, didn't want to throw down the $16 to stay in the hotel and instead grabbed a hunk of passenger seat in the hotel parking lot. Unbelievable, especially when he told us that he was up at 5:30 am, cursing his decision and not able to move because of extreme tightness in his back. When he finally mustered up the strength to roll out of the car, he leaned back and heard the most beautiful popping sounds. He said that money he “saved” will now be spent on a massage at some point.
We're currently about an hour away from St. Louis and are looking forward to what is said to be one of the greatest ballparks in the country. More to follow...
Todd & Will
p.s. another thank you to Billy, Max and Adam for the laughs and generosity they all provided.
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